Is love a good or a bad thing?
by queen of air
Summary: MirokuSango... neither will admit their fellings for each other, sango is really depressed. i decided not to make it angst......if i say any more it might give away to much... just please read it... i really suck at summaries!
1. Chapter One

Is Love a Good Thing or a Bad Thing? Chapter One:  
  
"Sango? Are you okay?" The monk asked.  
  
Sango was sitting on a rock by the river, her face in her hands. She didn't seem to hear him.  
  
"Sango?" He said again. "Are you hurt? Did something happen?" After she didn't answer again, he figured that she was ignoring him.  
  
Not wanting to leave, incase something actually was wrong, he sat on the ground next to the rock. The rock was big enough for two, maybe even three, people to sit on it. But he didn't want to disturb her if she was in deep thought and hadn't heard him talking to her.  
  
They sat there for a while. Sango with her face hidden in her hands. Miroku was sitting on the ground watching the water in the river. It rippled in spots and swirled in others. And a few feet down the river he could see that there was a tiny water fall too.  
  
"Did you say something Miroku?" Sango asked all of a sudden, startling Miroku so much he almost jumped.  
  
"Hmmm...? No... Well... I did a few minutes ago..." He told her. She looked... sad. Well... she often looked sad. But now she looked really and truly depressed. Like something had gone horribly wrong.  
  
"Sorry... I was... thinking... about something. I guess I got really obsorbed in my thoughts." She explained.  
  
"It's alright lady Sango."  
  
"What was it you had said?" She asked.  
  
"I asked if you were okay. You've been gone a long time. Kagome and Inuyasha had started to worry. So I came to make sure you were okay." He said as he stood back up.  
  
"Inuyahsa was worried?" Sango said.  
  
"Yes, actually, he was."  
  
"That's a first."  
  
"Well... Shall we go back to camp, lady Sango?" He asked.  
  
"You go... I... I need to think." She said.  
  
"You've been thinking a lot lately." He sat back down. "Care to share some of your thoughts?"  
  
As much as she wanted to tell him, or even tell Kagome or Inuyasha, she couldn't. She just couldn't tell them that the thing she'd been thinking of so much lately was love. Her family was gone, and she missed the emotion that had always came with them. She was afraid of love. So she had none in her life. Or did she? She was in love. With probably the worst person she could ever be in love with. Miroku.  
  
She had been thinking so much trying to straighten things out. She wanted to have things under control. Love is not an emotion that's willing to be controled. She didn't want to be in love with him. She didn't want to be in love with anyone. Ever.  
  
She wanted him to know how much he meant to her. How much she's hurt everytime he flirts with someone; even if it's her he's flirting with, because she knows it's nothing but lecherousy. She wanted him to know that she was in love.  
  
But she was afraid of love. She had loved her family, and her friends, and everyone in her village too, she supposed. Well, look where that got her. Hurt. Everyone was dead. Everyone she had loved was dead. And it hurt. She had no one to turn to. And it just hurt. It still hurt, it probably always would. Even if she could never tell him that she loved him, she still did, even if she didn't want to.  
  
It seemed the only person that didn't know _Miroku_ was in love with Sango, was Sango herself.  
  
"Sango?" He said after a few moments. "_Everyone's_ worried about you. Are you okay?"  
  
"Well... Everyone has nothing to worry about. I'm fine." She said.  
  
"Okay... But if you need to talk about something... I'll listen. And if you don't want to talk to me," He winced inwardly, "Kagome would listen to whatever it is you want to tell her."  
  
"I'm fine Miroku. I just need to think. I need to talk to Kaede. Is she in her hut?" She said.  
Luckily they were staying near Kaede's hut because it was the new moon and Kagoem had just gotten back. Inuyasha didn't want to travel when hee was human.  
  
"Umm... She should be Sango.Why? Why do you need to speak to her all of a sudden?" He asked.  
  
"Umm... Uh... It's a girl thing." She wasn't actually lieing. She was going to ask Kaede for a potion or a spell or something, to keep her happy; to keep her from gettign really depressed, like she so often was.  
  
"Okay. I'll tell the other's where you've gone." Miroku said, then walked off, not really beleiving her.  
  
"Right."  
  
It turned out Kaede did have such a spell. Well... It was more like a charm. It was a necklace. When she was wearing it, it would stop her from worrying as much, she would be happy and content with her life as it was. She wouldn't feel as if she needed Miroku.  
  
Sango had told Kaede that she didn't know why she was depressed. She hated to lie to her, but she didnt' want Kaede to know her secret. Kaede had accepted this and gave her the necklace.  
  
It was a simple string of beads that you slip over your head, but it had one extra thing. There was a metal moon charm hanging on the bottom of it. The beads were light purple and gave it an almost mystical look.  
  
It worked too. Sango was found throughout the rest of the day picking flowers, humming to herself, and randomly laughing for no reason. No one really thjought anything of this. They figured that whatever had been wrong with her was all better now. At least that's wha tInuyasha and Kagome figured. Miroku, however, thought differently.  
  
A/N: Sooo?!!?! How'd ya like it? It's not done yet... don't worry!yes... this is going to be one of those sappy miroku/sango fics....or atleast it will be if i don't change my mind... a few chappies'll be foccused on kagome and inuyasha. anywho! what are you waiting for? The more reveiws i get the faster i update! 


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two:  
  
"What is up with her?" Kagome asked. "She's so.... happy..."  
"I don't know... I can sense an odd magic around her. It doesn't seem bad... Just... distracting..." Miroku said.  
"I think she's just ... Nevermind..." Inuyhasa said.  
" No... What were you going to say Inuyasha?" Kagome said.  
"Well... I over heard her talking to herself.... About... something..." Inuyasha glanced quickly at the distracted monk.  
"Ohh... I get it now..." Kagome said. (Everyone but Miroku knew that Sango liked him...)  
Sango was curently sitting on the rock she had sat on three days ago when she was sad. That was the last time she had been sad. She loved this feeling. It was so free... She didn't have to worry about anything.  
She was throwing pebbles that she had found and humming some song she had made the other day. The other three didn't have to worry about her hearing them.  
"I think I'm actually more worried about her now then I was when she was all sad..." Miroku told them.  
"Have you noticed her new necklace? Maybe someone gave it to her and that's why she's happy." Inuyasha said, he really did notice mroe then he let on.  
"It's really pretty. But she got it from Kaede the other day." Kagome said.  
"Three day's ago... The last time she was sad... She said she had to go see Kaede... She said it was a girl thing." Miroku told them.  
"You don't think she...?" Kagome said quietly to Inuyasha. Miroku heard anyway but chose to ignore them.  
"She got a rosary or something?" Inuyasha said.  
"Something like that... A happiness spell maybe? Do they even exist?"  
  
"Oh gods! What could have made her sad enough to make her get a spell?!" Miroku couldn't ignore it anymore.  
"She's lost her family... Her friends... everyone she loved..." Inuyasha said, suprisingthem. He was becoming quite observant, wasn't he.  
"But that was atleast a year ago..." Miroku said.  
"Could she have been in shock for a year?" Kagome asked.  
"Maybe... We don't really know her well enough to tell... She never really talks about her past... Before what happened... She avoids the subject of people's pasts completely." Inuyasha told them  
"And since when have you been such an expert on Sango?!" Miroku said.  
"You like her." Kagome said. "Don't you?"  
"I... No.. I don't..." Miroku stuttered.  
"Yes you do!"  
"No I don't!"  
"Miroku ! If you can't admit it to us how will you ever admit it to her...?" Kagome said. Inuyasha, seeing this as a good time to slip off and talk to Sango, silently sneaked off.  
"I... You're right Kagome-sama... I do like her... I love her... But i can't tell her that..."  
"Why not?"  
"She... She doesn't feel the same..."  
"You know that for sure...?"  
"Well just look at how she acts... Well how she acted before the spell, around me!"  
"You're hopeless, Miroku!" Kagoem said, then turned in the opposite direction Inuyasha had gone in and stormed off. Knowing he would follow. She had noticed Inuyash leave... And she had figured out a plan.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Sango?" Inuyasha asked.  
"Yes?" She said perkily.  
"Take off the necklace." He told her.  
"What?! No!" She protested.  
"Why?" His voice was even, not harsh.  
"It's important to me..."  
"I wont take it..."  
"Fine..." She huffed, as she slipped it over her head. She knew if she didn't take it off herself, Inuaysha would do it for her.  
"Now... Talk to me..." He said simply.  
"What? Why? What's the differencfe if I talk to you with the necklace on or off?"  
"What's wrong?" He asked, making sure he didn't lose his temper with her. Something was wrong, he could sense it.  
"Nothing."  
"Liar."  
"Nothing's wrong! Damnit Inuyasha! Leave me alone!"  
"Why are you always so sad?"  
"I'm not."  
"No... You aren't... Not after you got that necklace you haven't been atleast." He paused. "What's bugging you so much you went to Kaede for a happiness spell?" He was still calm as can be, but Sango was losing her grip. Her eyes had clouded and he could see she was holding back tears.  
"... Everythign I've... ever wanted... Everything I want... now... Is my family... back... Love... There's... there's no love anymore..." She was sobbing and he could barely understand her. Why had he gone after her? Kagome could have dealt with her better.  
"It's okay... Sh.... Calm down Sango...Shhh.... It's okay... Everything's okay... There is to love... We love you... Me and Kagome love you like family Sango..." He said, pulling her into a hug and letting her cry on his shoulder.  
"What about Miroku...?" She asked, still sobbing.  
"He loves you to... But not as family... As something more."  
"No... he doesn't..."  
  
Miroku, taking the advice Kagome had given him, went to find her. He saw her in a friendly embrace with Inuyasha. she was crying. He heard the last little bit of conversation and wanted deeply to go comfort her. Was it the right thing to do? Was he maikng a mistake? Well if it was it was to late. He started to walk towards them.  
Inuyasha, seeing Miroku coming pulled away from Sango. "Tell him you love him. He needs to know." He whispered into her ear. He stood, nodded to Miroku, then left to find Kagome. He had to leave this last bit to Sango, and he hoped she made the right choice.  
  
Sango..." He sighed, hugging her. "I'm sorry. I'm so blind."  
"I... I..." She began, but was silenced by Miroku.  
"Shh... Sango... I love you... I've loved you since I met you." He told her and kissed her forehead lightly.  
"I... I..." She started to cry even more... "I wish I could say the same, Miroku." She whispered, and ran as fast as she could away, dropping the necklace where she had been standing.  
  
Inuyasha and Kagome, who were right behind them through the trees, heard the whole thing.  
"Wrong answer..." Inuyahsa mummbled, then sighed.  
  
Miroku sat there, dumbfounded. He had been so sure that she loved him too. He sighed, picked up the necklace Sango had dropped, and walked slowly in the opposite dirrection Sango had ran. Two tears slid down his cheeks before he could realize he was crying. He wiped them away quickly. (its a guy thing... They think it's weak to cry.)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Sango ran, and ran, and ran. She ran until her legs gave ot underneath her. She wanted him to love her almsot as much as she now wanted him to nbot love her. Something she had realized when she was wearing the necklace was that the people she love always get hust because of her. So if she loved no one... No one would get hurt. Right? Wrong. They'd get hurt anyways.  
  
A/N: Right... It's a short chappie... Sowry... i'll probably update tommorow anywho.... but yeah.... ummmm.... reveiw.... pwease... you know you want to.... i think, with the way this is going in my mind so far... That i'll have to change it to angst... but i dunno.... i'll figure it out as i go....  
  
~I be Raven~ 


End file.
